10 Questions to ask at your First Fertility Appointment

Mar 14

Am I the only one who shrinks into a tiny, quivering ball at the doctor’s office? Okay maybe not so much anymore but this used to be me every single time. I think it was a combination of being intimidated by the doctor and the aura of such an intelligent and accomplished individual juxtaposed to me who can’t even keep a succulent alive, and the relief of finally being heard and making some progress with whatever was bothering me. Either way I was terrible at speaking up at the doctor’s office no matter how much I rehearsed what I wanted to say.

That all changed when we began fertility treatments - well, not right away, It was only after t2o years of heartache, disappointment and a significant loss of money and hope that I learned to be my biggest advocate when it came to dealing with medical professionals. As much as we’d like to assume all doctors have our best interest at heart and that all their learning and training will provide a solution to our issues, it doesn’t always work out that way. To re-cap our journey in a nutshell:

It took a year for our family doctor to take my inclination that something was wrong, seriously.
It took another year after finally getting a referral for our doctor at that first clinic to give up and say I don’t know what’s wrong but I can no longer help you.
It took two years, 2 failed IUIs, 2 IVF attempts, and 3 miscarriages for our second clinic to tell us that it was impossible for us to get pregnant and that our only options were adoption or surrogacy.

I firmly believe that the success of your cycle is equal parts science and such, and equal parts a compassionate caregiver so my biggest advice to anyone undergoing IVF or trying to find a clinic would be to make sure you trust your doctor and to ALWAYS GET A SECOND OPINION.

Below is a list of questions I strongly suggest asking at your first appointment to feel out your potential IVF doctor. This is literally a matter of life and death, not to mention the extensive emotional and financial toll it takes to undergo this process so ensure you are confident in your doctor of choice is crucial. I hope this list helps! Please let me know any additional questions in the comments.

‘Till next time keep rising beautiful mammas

XO, Ro

Questions to ask AT YOUR FIRST FERTILITY CLINIC VISIT:

What is your clinic’s success rate on a whole, and for patients like me for both pregnancy and live birth and rates?
Where are transfers and embryo collection done? (Sometimes they are done off-site at larger hospitals or centers so having an idea ahead of time will help you plan. Also, your cycle can more easily be affected by covid/pushed back at a larger hospital)
Will Covid affect our timeline or process in any way? If so, what could that look like?
Is there an emergency contact person or nurse I can call on a Sunday morning at 2am or any other time if something comes up?
How do I receive updates? Can I request to be texted when correspondence is sent out? (emails sometimes get missed and might lead to months of delay in treatment - yes I’m speaking from experience, SMH🤦🏿‍♀️)
How many embryos do you typically retrieve and transfer for patients like me?
Do you prefer fresh or frozen embryo transfers (FET), and why?
Am I a candidate for a natural or low-dose cycle?
Do you recommend performing embryo transfers on the 3rd or 5th day?
Am I working with the same doctor from stimulation to egg retrieval to embryo transfer? (You’d be surprised how often doctors are shifted around. I did not know this and ended up getting seriously burned during one of my egg retrievals by a doctor who wa snot familiar with me or my case at all. Also they did not give me enough anesthetic and I woke up before the end of the procedure. You can imagine what that felt like 😅 You want to make sure whoever is providing your care is someone you trust.
DO you offer guaranteed IVF?
How do you determine if a couple is a good candidate for IVF?
What side effects should I prepare for?
What is included in the cost of treatment
Have you ever treated couples with our circumstance before? What was their experience/process? (Not all doctors are created equal and if your case is not typical you might want to consider a doctor with ample experience in a larger center)
What difficult cases have you encountered and how do you approach those?
What male fertility treatments do you offer?
How do you treat unexplained infertility?
Do you offer grants?
Do you do surgeries as part of treatments? (our first two clinics did not but our third did and that’s how we eventually got pregnant).
When can we start?