3 Ways to Maintain the Romance while TTC
“When your part of the TTC community, having a baby is anything but sexy and passionate. It’s downright clinical and often painful.”
In a perfect world, a baby is the greatest expression of love between a man and a woman. It’s the culmination of the flames of desire and affection for each other another, a beautiful expression of your deepest love that results in the creation of a precious life. Or At least that’s what Hollywood and health class taught me growing up. When your part of the TTC community, having a baby is anything but sexy and passionate. It can feel downright dehumanizing and often painful. I mean, what’s sexy about taking your clothes off in front of a man and letting him get all up in your nether regions before he even buys you a coffee? Granted he was my doctor, but still, a little warm up would have been nice.
The stress and frenzy of it all can strip the love part out of making love reducing it to a timed clinical pursuit of an impossible dream. I remember often times, instead of cuddling with my husband or enjoying being with him all I could think about was how long I’d need to prop my legs up in the air or how the ovulation kit told me this was the last day of the month we had to put a baby in me. With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, here are four tips to bring the finance back to your relationship and remind yourselves to have fun!
Number 1: self-care
1. This journey beats you up. I mean really knocks the air out of your lungs and tears out of your ducts. Emotionally, physically and everything in between TTC takes everything in you to not dissolve into a puddle of tears. So often you are tired and physically sore. You are a human pincushion with all kinds of gadgets and medication shoved up you love box which often leaves it feeling not so loving. I remember being on insertable progesterone tablets that would leave me feeling like I had peed myself several times a day. Not the sexiest feeling. Who’s in the mood to do anything when your drained? You cannot pour from an empty cup and that goes for your future baby and your husband so please take some time to do things that remind you, of you minus to the stress of TTC. Rejuvenate yourself by getting your hair done, nails done, working out or buying a chocolate cake just because its Wednesday and eating it by yourself. Trust me girl there’s zero judgment here. What makes you feel good, do it!
Number 2: GET CUTE
Running from appointment to appointment, taking all kinds of hormone stimulating meds, jumping through hoops, swallowing flaming swords, pretending to be ok in public and still not seeing that second line can really take a toll on your psyche. Why get cute when u feel like a failure? But you are NOT a Failure. Baby or no baby you are still beautiful and worthy to be celebrated so remind yourself of how cute you are! Get a cute outfit, do your hair and make up and parade on front on your best mirror if you have nowhere to go. (Your hubby would probably enjoy the show as well ;)
Number 3: date night
You are spending more money than you ever imagined often draining your savings (we lived without furniture for almost a year) I remember long stretches on the road, driving from appointment to appointment in silence because we were both exhausted. All of it takes a toll that’s why its so important to carve out time to connect with your partner. Be intentional because it’s so easy to get lost in the shuffle of this journey. Besides, if you did step 1 and 2 this will be the perfect reason to show off your cute self! Plan a simple date night. Maybe rent a movie on Amazon prime and order take out. It’s not about doing the most. Reconnecting and checking in with each other is key.
