Holiday survival guide when your struggling to get pregnant
I have a confession to make. I once uninvited an amazing couple friend of ours because they had just had their precious little girl and I was recovering from having part of my cervix removed in the continuing hopes of having a child of our own.
Yes I was jealous. Yes I was hurt. I was also on some pretty strong pain meds with a catheter and blood bag attached to my leg but at the core I knew that it was just petty The reality is it can be so hard to be in the presence of growing happy families when yours has been at a standstill for years
The holidays can be a very difficult time if you’re struggling with infertility. I rem hyper ventilating the day before friendsgivibg dinners and family get togethers, dreading the taunting sights of these beautiful children I couldn’t have. And then there’s the questions from well-meaning family and friends about when your going to have a baby.
“I have a confession to make. I once uninvited an amazing couple friend of ours because they had just had their precious little girl and I was recovering from having part of my cervix removed in the continuing hopes of having a child of our own.”
Number 1: Do what’s right for you
Assess where you are and do what’s right for you. Don’t ever feel pressured to speed up your healing to appease others. The worst situation to be in is when your forced to spare others feelings by sacrificing your own. Fir me this often looked like thrusting myself into social gatherings, smiling, nodding and laughing lots -almost to the point of being obnoxious, and then running to the bathroom to cry or breaking down on the way to the car of the end of the night Followed by weeks of sweat pants, eating Oreos in the fetal position and hokding grudges against every woman who walks down your street pushing a stroller. It’s not healthy. Instead, for those your really want to connect with during the Holidays reach out and carve out some one on one time. Instead of catching up at a large gathering grab a coffe or lunch date. That way you skip out on the social anxiety without sacrificing the relationship.
2. Create your own traditions
Just because it’s always been done doesn’t mean it always needs to be done. Hubby and I skipped out on all the regular holiday events our first year married. Ok so we picked up and moved from Toronto to small town SK leaving all our family and friends behind so that kind of set the tone but we could have flown back for the holidays but we chose not to. Instead we found a new local church to visit fir Christmas service, because growing up As the daughter of a Pentecostal Preacher that’s a non-negotiable. Then we went went out fir brunch and then a movie date. Yes it was simlple and waaay more scales down than we were used to but it was ours
3. Prioritize Selfcare
With all the hustle and bustle of the holidays it can be easy to get lost in getting things done fir others and neglect yourself. You might be inclined to go into hiding during this time but you deserve to shine too. Book your appointments to get your holiday look on point. Book your hair, nail and wax appointments ( or if your life me restock your at home wax strips). If you look good, your a step closer to feeling good too. Ps calories don’t count between thanksgiving and Jan 1 so do with that information what you will.
4. Keep A Gratitude journal
weather it’s an actual journal or jar or post it notes, it is important to reflect on each moment and search for silver linings and use those strands to pull you into tomorrow. And repeat that every day. There’s always something to be thankful for. The fact that you made it to this point and are reading this article means your lived to see any other day. That in and of itself is something to be thankful for. Look around at those who love you and genuinely care fir your well being even though they keep sending you alleged corona virus cures on WhatsApp. Think of those big heads and let their genuine love fill your heart and keep going.
Up until a few years ago I couldn’t stand the holidays because I didn’t have a photo of a growing family to share. No babies or even a baby bump in sight so I avoided taking Christmas photos. This will be the first year I’ll boldly post one up of my beautiful family of just me and the hubs and that’s perfectly ok. The holidays don’t have to look the same for everyone and that’s perfectly ok. You still deserve to celebrate and be celebrated!
